Talk #2 - A Man More Precious than Fine Gold
Let me preface this talk by saying that I will not be speaking to all of you today. Though I think this message can apply to everybody at some point in their lives, it was designed for a specific portion of you. I don't know who you are, but I know what you're going through.
You’ve all heard of Bruce Wayne. Bruce — who is known better by the name of his alter ego, the super-hero Batman, as I hope we’re all aware — had a terrible accident in his youth involving bats, an experience so scarring that he developed chiroptophobia, a fear of bats. A short time later he is, as a direct result of his phobia, walking the nighttime streets of Gotham City with his parents, and they are assaulted by a thug. The robbery goes horribly wrong and young Bruce is forced to watch helplessly as his parents die on the street in front of him. He comes to blame himself; if not for his fear, they wouldn’t have been there, and they wouldn’t have died; they could still be a happy family. Now both of his parents are gone, and Bruce’s life has been shattered.
A tragedy, right? Bruce Wayne’s story can easily be categorized as more painful than most, filled with scars, suffering, and severe psychological trauma. I think we can all agree on that. But I’m going to put it on pause for now, and we’ll come back to it in a few minutes.
What I intend to talk about today is what philosophers call the Problem of Suffering, a theological dilemma that has been debated for centuries. The question is this: how can an all-powerful, all-knowing, and perfectly benevolent God exist when there is so much suffering in the world today? How could such a God let all that pain and misery happen?
It’s a good question and a fair one. And the answer is something most people asking it wouldn’t expect.
In the film Shadowlands, Christian apologist CS Lewis describes in a speech a horrific traffic accident that killed 24 people. He then asks some “simple, but fundamental questions: Where was God on that December night? Why didn’t He stop it? Isn’t God supposed to be good? Isn’t He supposed to love us? Does God want us to suffer?” He pauses for a moment here and then says, “What if the answer to that question is Yes?”
We are all familiar with the concept of touching a hot stove. A little girl reaches up in curiosity, presses her fingers against the red ring, and begins to scream and cry until her mother rushes in, puts ice on the burn, and points out the obvious lesson. The child has now learned never to touch a hot stove again.
Now, what would be better — that she knows the pain of intense heat once, and never touches the stove again? Or that she touches it, leans on it, lies on it without feeling any pain at all while she is slowly burning to death?
I apologize for that terrible image, but that is a potential consequence of the lack of ability to feel pain. Physical pain is built into our systems to make us aware that there is a problem somewhere in our bodies, and it needs to be taken care of. When I broke my leg jumping down a flight of stairs at a seminary party six and a half years ago, the pain was telling me to get to a hospital, get the broken leg mended. If I had not felt that pain I would have continued on in life a cripple.
CS Lewis says, continuing on from before, “I suggest to you that it is because God loves us that He makes us the gift of suffering. Or to put it another way...pain is God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”
It is clear that while the idea of physical pain certainly applies to Lewis’s words, it is not precisely what he had in mind. I believe what he was speaking of was spiritual pain. If you didn’t receive any stimulus from sin telling you it’s wrong, you’d be inclined to keep doing it. In Jeffrey R. Holland’s talk “Lessons From Liberty Jail,” Elder Holland says: “Of course sinfulness does bring suffering, and the only answer to that behavior is repentance.”
Then he says, “But sometimes suffering comes to the righteous, too.” Certainly the prophets throughout the ages can attest to that, and we ordinary folk can as well. Heartache. Heartbreak. Disappointment. Injustice. Unfairness. Rejection. Betrayal. False friends. Financial struggles. Being a victim of selfishness, of indifference, of pride. Not to mention any physical disabilities or mental disorders or emotional frailties we may be born with. Our lives are rife with all these things, even if we’re living the commandments. So why is that?
I will repeat Lewis’s words: “It is because God loves us that He makes us the gift of suffering.” Notice those precise words: “because God loves us.”
Lewis goes on to say, “You see we are like blocks of stone out of which the Sculptor carves the forms of men. The blows of His chisel, which hurt us so much...are what make us perfect.”
This is the principle of adversity. Of opposition, and how we react to it. To demonstrate this principle I will give you a couple of brief examples.
A baby bird, when hatching from its egg, must be allowed to emerge on its own strength. Without the experience of breaking out of its own shell, the bird may not have the ability to survive on its own.
Muscles only grow when they experience trauma. When we exercise, the muscles in our limbs break down and develop tears in the tissue itself. As we rest, the muscles gradually grow back, and actually become stronger than they were before.
So yes. There are lessons to be learned from pain, inherent in the process itself. Lessons God feels it is worth the pain to know. Lessons God teaches us because He loves us. Strength God grants us because He wants our eternal progression more than our temporal comfort. And not only will these experiences make us stronger, but they will develop within ourselves a greater and more full appreciation for what joy and happiness truly are.
Adam and Eve once lived in the Garden of Eden, in perfect, simple happiness, never knowing the bitter side of life, the side of death and decay, only the sweet, the side of light and life. Consequently they could not progress. It was only after the Fall, when they were cast into the lone and dreary world that they were able to have increase, to bear and raise children, to learn the lessons of life, to discern the bitter from the sweet, the pleasure from the pain, the good from the evil. One cannot know joy without knowing sadness.
In Shadowlands, after Lewis’s wife, with whom he shared only a tragically short time, passes away, he asks, “Why love, if losing hurts so much?” — and thereafter shortly answers, “The pain now is part of the happiness then. That's the deal.”
In other words, brothers and sisters, lights can be beautiful — but it has to be dark for you to be able to appreciate them. Sometimes — MANY times — it will feel like it’s not worth it. No experience is worth that much hurt. No joy is worth that much loss. I have been there before. I know what that mindset feels like. I also know that it is a lie.
We must know and understand that God is in control, and that He knows what is best for us, and He will NEVER give us something we cannot handle nor something that is not worthwhile. Those crashing waves and billowing winds may attack us as we sail through that storm of suffering and uncertainty. But as it says in hymn number 124, “Be still my soul: the waves and winds still know His voice who ruled them while he dwelt below.”
Elder Holland says: “Whenever these moments of our extremity come, we must not succumb to the fear that God has abandoned us or that He does not hear our prayers. He does hear us. He does see us. He does love us. When we are in dire circumstances and want to cry “Where art Thou?” it is imperative that we remember He is right there with us—where He has always been! We must continue to believe, continue to have faith, continue to pray and plead with heaven, even if we feel for a time our prayers are not heard and that God has somehow gone away. He is there. Our prayers are heard. And when we weep He and the angels of heaven weep with us.”
1 Nephi 21:15-16 reads: “For can a woman forget her sucking child, that she should not have compassion on the son of her womb? Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee, O house of Israel. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands.” On the palms of His hands has He engraved His love for us. In the prints of the nails in his hands and feet.
He will be there for us to find, always. But it is we who have to start searching out first. I hope we have all noticed that when we’re in distress we tend to pray more, or we should pray more. For without that distress we would have no reason to talk to God, and talk to God we must. We cannot obtain salvation, be it spiritual or emotional, on our own power. We can’t get there based on our own limited vision. In April 2009 General Conference, President Thomas S. Monson, our prophet of God, quoted the words of M. Louise Haskins:
And I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year:
“Give me a light, that I may tread safely into the unknown!”
And he replied:
“Go out into the darkness and put your hand into the Hand of God.
That shall be to you better than [a] light and safer than a known way.”
In order to successfully face and conquer the darkness of this world, we must put our trust in God, and depend on Him. We don’t and can’t always know why bad things happen to us. Sometimes — most times, even — we can’t see with our mortal, non-spiritual eyes why something has to be. In such times we must throw up our shield of faith and endure the onslaught of life’s fiery darts with patience, having faith that the trial will end as we put our trust in God.
That trust is very important in a trial, for sometimes pain is not a lesson but a test. A test of our obedience, a trial of our faith. In fact this WHOLE LIFE is a test: Abraham 3:25 — “And we will prove them herewith, to see if they will do all things whatsoever the Lord their God shall command them.” A time of testing, a time to see if we will do all the things the Lord expects from His special sons and daughters. When we are wading through those black waters of adversity on our way to dry land, will we turn to the Lord, and keep His commandments, follow His guiding light? Or will we give up and sink below the surface, submerge in short-sightedness, fall in faithlessness, drown in disbelief?
The test is frequently one of faith and fortitude. We are promised all the righteous desires of our hearts. I know that I’ve said before and I’m sure many of you have as well, “I will give or do anything for [a certain situation to be the case].” I’ve said it many times, both to myself and to my God in prayer. But one of those times I was answered by the Holy Ghost. The answer was in the form of a question: “You say you would give anything. Would you give time?”
That question struck me. Would I give time? Would I wait for the Lord to show His hand, and be patient until then? Again, we are promised that we will one day obtain all the righteous desires of our hearts. I say I would give anything to have them. But would I be willing to wait for them? Sometimes waiting can last a long time, and we can’t see the ending. In such times we may doubt God’s love for us. So often this feeling of despair is attached to our desire for romantic love. I want to make one thing absolutely clear to you as a singles ward today, and that is this: Whether or not you’re in a relationship is NOT an indicator of how much our Heavenly Father loves you, nor of your worthiness before Him. I know the despair and loneliness that can be felt in such a state. The perpetual heartbreak one is often in because of “the pangs of despised love,” as Shakespeare calls it. Sometimes we look at others who seem to be so happy, and we wonder why we can’t have that happiness too. Why it’s easier for them than for us. Elder Neal A. Maxwell said, “Faith in God includes faith in God’s timing.” As painful and as trying and as depressing as that timing can seem, it is in the end for our benefit. We forego something Good now for something Great later, even if we might not know it at the time. God sees the future where we cannot. And in the end we will thank Him for that.
Elder Holland again: “When you have to, you can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experience with the Lord in any situation you are in. Indeed, let me say that even a little stronger: You can have sacred, revelatory, profoundly instructive experience with the Lord in the most miserable experiences of your life—in the worst settings, while enduring the most painful injustices, when facing the most insurmountable odds and opposition you have ever faced.”
I have an absolute testimony of the truthfulness of this concept. If our life was painless and easy, we would never ask for help, and thus we would never grow, nor would we have a reason to draw closer to our Heavenly Father. It is then, in the times we have fallen, that we are at our most humble. It is then that we learn the most about ourselves, our capabilities, our strength, and also about God, and our relationship with Him. It is then that God is able to shape us, to form us, to organize us into something profoundly different, something superior, something stronger, something finer. In 2 Nephi 23:12 Christ says through Isaiah, “I will make a man more precious than fine gold.” For metals like gold to be refined and be given their true quality they must be cast into a fiery furnace, where their final impurities are removed. Said Robert Millet and Joseph Fielding McConkie, “It is in the flames of difficulty that the tempered steel of faith is forged. Ease does not call forth greatness.” And greatness is, in God’s kingdom, what we all aspire to achieve.
Elder Holland again: “When what has to be has been and when what lessons to be learned have been learned, it will be for us as it was for the Prophet Joseph. Just at the time he felt most alone and distant from heaven’s ear was the very time he received the wonderful ministration of the Spirit and wonderful, glorious answers that came from his Father in Heaven. Into this dismal dungeon and this depressing time, the voice of God came, saying:
“My son, peace be unto thy soul; thine adversity and thine afflictions shall be but a small moment; And then, if thou endure it well, God shall exalt thee on high; thou shalt triumph over all thy foes. [D&C 121:7–8]”
John 16:21 — “A woman when she is in travail [in other words, childbirth] hath sorrow, because her hour is come: but as soon as she is delivered of the child, she remembereth no more the anguish, for joy that a man is born into the world.”
A man. A man more precious than fine gold. Our adversity and afflictions will be but a small moment. A small moment in our minds, in our memories. And then we will no more remember the anguish, but we will have joy, and we shall be exalted.
If we can see matters with that kind of long term perspective, if we can accept that we do not know everything right now, and if we can trust that the Lord’s timing is best, we will triumph all the easier, we will conquer all the more.
To further illustrate the importance of perspective, I will share another example from my life. A couple of years ago I was at the Oakland Temple for Ward Temple Night. I came out with Brother Jim Mattson, and we stopped to look at the glorious view over the bay area that I hope everyone here has had the chance to take in. You can see the Bay Bridge, and then San Francisco across the bay, and the Golden Gate Bridge too. The view oversees many cities, and the temple itself seems to take on the figurative responsibility of a lighthouse, a beacon to both lost souls and temple-worthy latter-day saints, and even to airline pilots who use the temple as a reference point, a guiding light when landing at night.
Brother Mattson related to me a thought he had while looking out over this marvelous view. He pointed out how the closer we are to something, the worse and more chaotic it seems to be. Down in the impoverished and crime-ridden streets we see up close the misery and hopelessness of these people’s lives. Families torn apart, parentless children wandering the streets, rival gangs in perpetual conflict with each other. There on the streets misery is cheap; it is easily come by and just about everybody has it. But if you take a step back, say to the temple grounds while overlooking the city and its myriad lights, nothing is actually as bad as it seems. It is peaceful to look upon, almost even beautiful. You want to say to these people that it’s going to be okay; look at the bigger picture, take a step back and know that everything is going to work out in the end.
Think about that idea. And now think about the perspective of our Heavenly Father. How far away His view is. How calm and peaceful His outlook is. How much more knowledgeable and in control of all things He is. How of all people, He alone is qualified to tell us that Yes, it’s going to be okay. And He tells us exactly that. In fact, He tells us that it’s going to be more than okay. If you live the way He wants you to live you will achieve everlasting happiness, eternal life and eternal love, and all things that He has.
The oft-overlooked fifth verse of How Firm a Foundation contain words to truly treasure, both as sublime poetry and as comfort and inspiration.
When through fiery trials thy pathway shall lie,
My grace, all sufficient, shall be thy supply.
The flame shall not hurt thee; I only design
Thy dross to consume and thy gold to refine.
Remember the words: I will make a man more precious than fine gold.
It is often the best of men, the ones who are indeed more precious than fine gold, that have been called to endure the worst tribulations. And that brings us back to Bruce Wayne and Batman. We have already established that as a child Bruce went through terrible psychological trauma. But what are the results of that pain? What are the fruits of that suffering? Think on it, and you’ll realize they are many. His experiences with Gotham’s criminal underbelly inspire him to fight back, and fight back he does. In direct response to his fears he strengthens himself, building up his personal power — both physical and psychological — and goes about systematically destroying the criminal world, one bad guy at a time, eventually neutralizing countless super-villains who want to bring more pain, more crime, more chaos to Gotham City. He becomes a one-man army against the forces of evil in Gotham. And in the end of the film The Dark Knight he even becomes a Christ-figure, taking upon him the sins and crimes of a guilty, fallen man for the sake and salvation of the people of Gotham. Batman is the ultimate fictional example of sacrifice and the fruits of pain and adversity.
So what are some of the fruits of our pain, our adversity? We don’t live nearly as dramatic lives as Bruce Wayne does. (That I’m aware of, anyway.) But we learn things and change just the same. Perhaps the most essential trait we gain is that of empathy and compassion, and the ability to help others go through pain. A great man once pointed out to me that we see the burdens of others with much more clarity when we’ve experienced our own. We become more sensitive to the needs and feelings of others. And consequently we become less inclined to add to others’ burdens, and instead help to share them, to make another’s lot easier, thus taking part in the glorious work of the Atonement.
Service and helping bear each other’s burdens is one of those profound ways we can change our attitude and obtain a different, higher perspective. Our attitude can really change everything. The power to alter it is one of the greatest tools the Lord has blessed us with in our endeavor to endure. My very good friend Joe Harris, who has endured a variety of major health issues the entirety of his life, once said, “Just because I’m in pain, doesn’t mean I have to be miserable.”
My favorite verse in all of scripture is Doctrine and Covenants Section 123 verse 17: “Therefore, dearly beloved brethren, let us cheerfully do all things that lie in our power — ” notice that word, cheerfully “ — and then may we stand still, with the utmost assurance, to see the salvation of God, and for His arm to be revealed.”
This latter part of the verse provides us with a perfect, concise demonstration of the Atonement. We do everything we can to solve our problems and persist through our difficulties with the best attitude we can muster. And then we pray, and ask God to do the rest, utilizing the Atonement for our pain as well as our sins. And then He does: our Savior Jesus Christ will step in, and make up all the difference, and catch us before the fall.
Both the present and the future can be dark and uncertain. We may not know when a given trial will end, or if it ever will. In such times we must understand that it is not God’s intention to remove from us our trials, but rather to help us endure them, help us come off conqueror, help us overcome every challenge we face and every problem that comes our way.
Christ willingly suffered our pains and afflictions — every single one of them — just so He could do that, just so He could understand, just so He could help. If only we humbly ask Him for help in bearing our burdens, He will do so. I can testify to this personally. He will not take them away, but He will help share the load. In Preach My Gospel it says that “Everything that is unfair about life can be made right through the Atonement of Jesus Christ.” The Atonement, as broad and epic and as encompassing as it is, can be and very much is something entirely personal. It can be about solely you and your Savior. He went through it for you. For He knows you. He knows your name. He knows your feelings, the thoughts and intents of your heart. And He knows exactly what you are suffering, and what help you need to endure it. Ask Him to help bear the load, and keep asking in all of your prayers, and you will one day find that that trial, that fiery furnace, is over. And you have overcome; you have conquered. And you will have become, in the Lord’s eyes, more precious than fine gold.
In closing, let me just say that it — meaning life, our time of testing, and the refiner’s flames we are meant to go through — can hurt like Hell, literally. Disappointment. Despair. Sorrow. That which attacks our will to go on, perhaps even to the extent that we would rather end our lives early than continue on through that hallway of hell (though I hope none of you have had to go through that). But, as Winston Churchill once said, if you’re going through Hell, keep going. And you will finally arrive at those figurative gates of heaven. For it will all end someday. The pining, the weeping, the wailing. The burning, the carving, the purging. And then it will be as it says so tenderly in the Book of Revelation, chapter 21 verse 4: “And God shall wipe away all tears from their eyes; and there shall be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither shall there be anymore pain: for the former things are passed away.”
Press on. Have faith. Be patient. Endure it well. It is worth it. It is ALL worth it. I promise you this, and say all of these things, in the name of your Savior and of mine, Jesus Christ, amen.
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